I rewatched an old episode of Rizzoli & Isles last night. In it, the daughter of a Senator is raped at a conference by a family friend much older than her. She later learns that he, a powerful businessman, has done this to several women and she plans to expose him. She exposes him through secret videos, but not before being murdered for her efforts, which of course has to happen because it is a homicide detective show.
The fear and anguish of living with sexual assault is all too real to many people, even some I am close to and care about. Sexual assault has recently seen a lot of coverage in the media, and victims are getting both praise and flack for their efforts. There are even some instances where the victims are being questioned on the validity of their statements and their ability to tell the truth.
Why are they just now coming forward?
It's hard to believe that someone got away with assaulting that many women/men.
Why didn't they press charges?
They're still holding on to that?
Having never been through an event like that myself, I can only offer secondhand insight. I have people in my life who have been through these situations, and I can give what I see through their struggles and other instances I have heard about.
Why are they just now coming forward? As I stated before, the fear of these types of situations is a very real thing. The situation is even more difficult when the assailant is a person that the victim sees as someone to be trusted or respected. In a lot of these instances, victims are assaulted by someone in an authority position or by a family member or friend. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, of sexual abuse cases reported to law enforcement, 93% of juvenile victims knew the perpetrator. Also according to them, in jail or prison, 60% of all sexual violence against inmates is perpetrated by the institution’s staff.
Sometimes, the victims are threatened or mentally abused to keep them from coming forward. In some instances, they may not come forward for fear that their relationships with family, friends, or significant others may be ruined. They may be afraid they will be looked at differently or, plainly and simply, they might live in fear that people will not believe them, or look at them as if part of it is their fault. Why would they think something like that?
It's hard to believe that someone got away with assaulting that many women/men. It may be hard to believe but believe it. It happens every day. On average, there are 321,500 victims (age 12 or older) of rape and sexual assault each year in the United States. I try to think about it in simple(ish) terms. Say a little boy or girl has a serious sweet tooth. He/She takes a cookie from a cookie jar, unseen and unbeknownst to anyone. He/she does not get in trouble or get scolded. So, being a child with dessert temptation control problems, he/she takes another one after their next meal. If no one ever knows about them stealing cookies out of the cookie jar, and they never get in trouble, then why stop? If there are no consequences (internal or external), then the actions are set on a path to continue. This would be especially true if the victim knows their assailant. They already have a hand up on the victim, because they can play to their personal knowledge or their authoritative position. If this works once and there are no immediate consequences, they see no reason to stop.
Why didn't they press charges? This is a question even I have asked myself about people I know who have been through sexual assault situations. However, I have discovered that, in the simplest explanation, sometimes it is just too much. Pressing charges would mean reliving a traumatic experience over again, probably more than once. It also means possibly facing the person who violated them, along with lawyers and a lot of other people asking detailed questions about what is quite possibly the worst day of that person's life. Applause and admiration to those that can go through that process, because they provide a voice for not only them but those that were not in the mental or personal state to do so. Pressing charges is a way to show the public what the assailant has done and to get some form of justice for their actions, but some never get to the point that their mental state can handle that. Many just want it to go away, and many even fear regression from the progress they have made.
They're still holding on to that? Short answer: Yes. Healing is different for everyone. Sexual assault/rape is a mentally scarring experience, to say the least. Moving on and coping is a long, step-by-step process with no timeline. The focus should be on the healing, not how long it is taking. The mental state of anyone is a fragile thing. Here are some more statistics from the Bureau of Justice Statistics for everyone to keep in mind.
-94% of women who are raped experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) during the two weeks following the rape.
-30% of women report symptoms of PTSD 9 months after the rape.
-33% of women who are raped contemplate suicide.
-13% of women who are raped attempt suicide.-Approximately 70% of rape or sexual assault victims experience moderate to severe distress, a larger percentage than for any other violent crime. The survivors of these crimes are strong and persistent, no matter where they are in their healing process. They live every day with a life-changing traumatic memory, and many just grasp for some sense of normalcy.
Another sad occurrence is that, because of privacy and protection laws, these monsters can go on living regular day-to-day lives and have jobs around the public where no one is the wiser. For example, if they lose their job (authority figure) because of abuse or assault but charges are not formally pressed, their former employer cannot divulge the reasoning for their termination and the individual does not have to divulge that information to any employer looking to hire them. Therefore, they can go on abusing their authoritative position in another job or position until charges are formally filed or someone comes forward to the media/public. Also, if a juvenile assaults another but misses a date for court or appointment to review their case, they may be temporarily allowed to return to an environment around other juveniles and no one-on-one supervision, even though they have committed a sexual crime against another student. Protection and privacy laws are sadly not directed toward the protection of the victims.
I think that a lot of the speculation put on victims of sexual assault/rape comes from living in a society of questioning things we find improbable. I call it the "I can't believe that happened so it didn't" society. We tend to push away or question traumatic experiences because we do not think things like that could or should happen. Sadly, they do, and most likely more often than any of us know.